If you need to phone us please follow these directions:

If you are obsessive-compulsive please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personality disorder, please press 3,4,5, and 6

If you are schizophrenic, please listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line till we can trace the call.

If you are a manic depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press-no one will answer.

If there is no one home you will get the answer phone listen to it here

If all else fails please drop us a line using the form below

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